one green monster

If I could freeze a fountain...

2005-08-19T01:27:00.000+08:00

I'd keep some of the pretty crystals and sell the rest for lots of money - at least that's what I thought while playing with water in the shower as a child. Well, now I know you really can freeze jets of water - in photos at least. Here are some pics I took at the Bugis fountain for my photojourn assignment. Nothing near great, but the water's beautiful.

New FAQ Question!!

2005-08-08T23:33:00.000+08:00

joanna asked: ""Who is the cutest man alive (that) u like?""

my ANSWER:

Really, this type of thing need to say one meh?!?!?! And I don't just like lor... ;p

*swoon*

The MICHELLE FAQ

2005-07-27T22:13:00.000+08:00

ah... blog sweet blog. I haven't been around some long time, but I'm returning with answers to some burning questions you always wanted to ask...

1) Why "Green"?? Are you dreadfully jealous of some1?? - thus "Monster"??

a) Green's my favourite favourite colour - an affection for which I discovered in JC - I suddenly realised it was very soothing to look on, and bcos it's rarely used (look around, how many people wear green?) i it kept catching my eye!! (friends will swear and curse at how I ALWAYS gravitated toward green when shopping)

My Fav Green Bowl n My Fav Daily Breakfast of Oats & Strawberries

b) Now that you know my penchant for green doesn't stem from envy... "Monster" came from dear Ann-jie, who called me "little green monster". It's an affectionate term lah! I decided it was nice and unique to call my blog after it - except tat it'd be too "act cute" -
"One" green monster seems to add a nice touch of anonymity;>

2) What's with eating "Cai4 Fan4" daily?! And all the vegetables?!

Cai4 Fan4's like the healthiest choice around - I can get all the veggies I need, PLUS a healthy mix of carbs and protein... And I can mix and match with full control.
What's not to like?
As for the veggies.... It's really for the fibre - I like to have a go every morning... ... instead of carrying around that baggage all day... get what I mean? ;p

3) Okay so admit you're a health freak, you veggie-eating thing. When do you EVER relax?

Think those who with me at TNP really hate me for attacking the Cai4 Fan4 stall nearly everyday... but really if one just thinks logically -
If I REALLY eat like this all the time, I won't be this glorious size now will I?
The truth is, when I'm with my folks, we eat A LOT, and it's mostly Fried and Lots Of Meat.
Plus we don't cook (so no healthy soup, veggies like normal families), we always eat out where it's unhealthier, as common wisdom tells us...
So unfortunately, I'm always doing "make-up" for all this when friends see me.... thus this "healthy michelle" misconception among some.
Trust me, I love kfc, durians, mooncake, brownie, cookies.... and i hate goin hungry ;)

4) Now spit it out: Are you Catholic or Christian?

Weird question, cos Catholics ARE christian what, since their belief revolves around Christ!
But since most ppl mean Catholic or Protestant...
I prefer to say I'm Evangelical.
I side with the Bible, not words - 'Catholic' or 'Presbyterian', 'Anglican' etc. They are too many confusing connotations I prefer to avoid. I mean, not all Protestants believe in what the formal faith says they should, the same goes for Catholics.... and there are many traditions in both which are different, but not consequential at all - things the bible doesn't really care with - so it's so complicated. So let's just say I belive in what the Bible says about Christ, and I don't agree when Churches go against it.

(anw I was baptised at 5 in a Catholic church, which I go with my parents now. I attend a protestant bible study grp at NTU, and attend a protestant churh some saturdays. a few yrs later I will most prob end up in John's church, as I feel Catholism has gravitated quite a bit from the bible.)

Ok! any more questions?!?! Bring them on yah? I'm feeling free=)

Rather than debating...

2005-07-05T13:30:00.000+08:00

Really, who hasn't indulged in all the "actually-religions-are-all-the-same", "religions-brainwash-you", "which-is-the-best-one" debates?

Much as I such discourse usually psychs me up (excited? nervous? troubled?), I have to say that it doesn't get people anywhere closer to knowing what the gospel is, or what the Bible says.
You can argue till the cows come home and howl at the moon but
1. Such debates don't change their preconceptions of God,
2. They don't hear the "gospel" as it's meant to be - "the good news".

So rather than debate with you, let's just hear what the Bible says first, ok?
Please see: 2 Ways To Live

2005-06-12T19:31:00.000+08:00

I was a good girl today.
To meet my interviewee, I brisk-walked from Kiliney Road to Orchard Mrt to save money. =)
And even though I had absolutely no need to, I travelled back to Cineleisure to help my bro look for Splinter Cell - Chaos Theory.... and then when I found out it was out of stock there I walked over to Heeren and finally helped him bag it.
Then I walked to Scotts Picnic to buy 2 bagloads of Roti Boy for my family and grandma et al.

Savoury buttery bread topped with addiction-inducing caffeinated coffee powder. Ingenious.
Then I walked to Scotts Picnic to buy 2 bagloads of Roti Boy for my family and grandma et al. This was despite the fact that my interviewee stood me up and made me wait for a fool for 45 minutes and did not answer my 6 calls and 2 sms... and despite the fact that my bro was nowhere near sympathetic when I called him for some comfort ;p Yay.

("A new commandment I give to you...: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another" [Jesus said] John 13:34-35)

2005-06-12T19:01:00.000+08:00

Rotiboy trivia: 2 rotiboys + lots of water + a mug of cooling tea = coffee-smelling pee

a bit of loving

2005-06-10T19:21:00.000+08:00

I've been having quite a rough time relationship-wise. It's so hard to keep up with what friends expect of me, and I found myself giving everyone just the bare minimum, saying nice things here and there so they won't suspect anything's amiss.
If I'm referring to you, I'm really sorry I haven't been a good friend.
I try to avoid of friends calling at night because I want time to myself, because beauty sleep is important, because I need time to pack my room, because....
Some of these are good reasons, but... I can be so selfish that I close my mind to spending extra time with my friends, not thinking about whether they really need a listening ear.

So much for being a friend. I just care about myself. Well, sometimes I do care about them.
But only in the little pocket of time (eg. 15 mins/2 days) that I allocate to each.

I'm not trying to be a bad friend, but I guess this is really innate selfishness.
I'm like this to my family too. I talk to my mom in whatever tone I wish just because I'm right... It never occured to me that I should give her the proper respect deserved by a mom, even if she were wrong. I think when God set the commandment to "Honour your parents", that was the mininum. If I could love them more, honouring them would only be the least I could do.

Maybe this shows how imperfect human love is. No matter how much we say we love, we still let each other down now or some time in the future. A good friend told me there is nothing in the world we can wholly rely on - not our accomplishments, not our friends, not even our family, but only God's consistent love.

So now I'm really gotta to see my love for others not as a "minimun returns" exchange, but in the way God would want me to show love for them. People are not detached bit players in Michelle's Game of Life but God's cherished creation - so loved that He died on the cross for them. So I am no one to be selfish and mean towards them...

an innocent little question

2005-06-05T17:55:00.000+08:00

LAST Friday at work, i asked my fellow intern, Medha, a devout Buddhist, about her views on premarital sex.
To cut her answer short, she was against it but told me her reasons had nothing much to do with religion. I told her I was against it too, but on religious grounds.
Anyway, in the middle of our lively conversation, my never-mince-my-words, never-politically-correct editor joined in. He started off laughing and teasing and as usual looking at us like we were little girls.
Then suddenly he changed his tone and adopted a serious fatherly voice, and told us he wanted to give us some 'objective advice'.
According to our dear Mr M. Singh, his vast knowledge and wide social circle taught him that many couples who breezed through romance and dating eventually end up in tears and divorce after marriage because....
they were "sexually incompatible".
At this point Medha shot out: "So you're saying we ought to test-drive our partners?"
"Well, you all know I'm an agnostic, and I know you're religious so I'm not asking you to do as I say," he answered, "but I'm telling you this thing about compatibility will be a serious issue."
At this point I couldn't take it any more so I asked,
"Don't people 'improve' their performance over time?"
"Who's born an expert in bed?"
Then the both of them gave a very small but noticeable pause ... and decided to ignore that.
I can't remember how exactly the rest of it went but our dear boss did make his point that sex was a very important... element in marraige. And yes he thinks test-driving would eliminate a lot of tears.
But tat's not the point here anyway - you already know my stand. But I do have a little question:
HOW incompatible can two lovers be in bed?
Seriously! I mean, if you've got the complementary organs - and they are functional - what can go so bad that it triggers the divorce alarms??
And if both parties love each other, they'd be comfortable with expressing love in physical ways - holding each other, hugging, kissing (we even do that to frens lor).... so surely you won't find your husband or wife revolting to touch in bed right?
Hm.... I don't have the experience of my editor so I can only speculate... but I still don't see any problem what.
If you're inexperienced, you can learn.... ... and if both are inexperienced, learn together la! sounds quite sweet, somehow.
Furthermore... if it's the first time for both, then you won't even know if your partner sucks! Sounds nice. And works both ways in case you need it too ;)
So... yar that's what I think.
Got a view?
;p

2005-06-03T00:27:00.000+08:00

during our rafting break, these kids from the countryside greeted us good morning - or so we thought. It was only after I posed with them that I realised they were saying "money, money" repeatedly.... ugh.

2005-06-03T00:25:00.001+08:00

Bali is really beautiful

2005-06-03T00:25:00.000+08:00

john going crazy with the guitar... (which he brought to serenade me! hahahahaar)

2005-06-03T00:21:00.000+08:00

John's dad and mom sent us off b4 bali! ;>

2005-06-03T00:07:00.000+08:00

Whitewater rafting @ Bali!! From left: our guide, me, John (the BF! haha n yah he looks v toot here heheh), our frens Gerald n Mel.

Too heavy to read

2005-05-23T13:59:00.000+08:00

In primary school (CHIJ Kellock) they usually made us attend church, where we'll sing hymms and all that. Many of those songs still stay with me. There's this particular one which I'd sing proudly without having to look at the lyrics (cos I attended the same church with my parents anyway), and also thinking I already knew and had the water from the "well that never would run dry".

It's really funny how the true meaning - personal and deep - of something learnt in childhood really only hits you 13 years later.

Like the woman at the well I was seeking
For things that could not satisfy

1. I don't think there is a lack of examples to this... I can name a few personal ones:
When I binge-ate, in those brief moments of insanity my mind only had the space for what I could cram down next. Chocolates, cakes, potato chips, sausages, nuts, back to chocs, then to ice cream n biscuits.... It's as sick as it sounds. But when it's happening you really want it.
And when it's over I don't know which is worse - the shame, the anger at letting it happen yet again, the sick sick feeling, or the hopelessness.
2. Interesting that bingeing co-existed with dieting.
I could plan my meals the night before - telling myself "no fats no fats, I'm a lipophobe". During lectures I'd think about when I could exercise next, or go tan, to achieve that elusive lean and envious bod. Eating with my parents or friends was hard because I told myself to have 5 light meals... If you wanted to go have pasta for lunch I may consider going if I could bring my veg sandwich along.
3. More than food, there's the want for the trendiest clothes n accessories- "don't let the less fashionably-inclined catch up, you know". Nowadays I also battle my addiction to SIMS which can cause me to play till 4 or 5 am... And well, more than my extreme examples, I can imagine the subtler things - romantic reliance, money... academic accomplishment. I've seen so many people crumble when someone they thought "unthreatening" suddenly rise "from the ashes" and thrash them at school. Do these really satisfy? I don't think so anymore.

And then I heard my saviour speaking
Draw from my well that never will run dry

Of course I'm not talking about a voice from heaven =p Anw I used to harbour the wish to be fashionably bad, to flirt with the "dark side" and still think I was paying my Christianly dues by "not having sex", "not ... " Yet my "be bad" plans were always thwarted. And then over a period of some years I was pulled into the snares of deeper biblical understaning and the inescapable burden of Christian friends *grinz*
So the main point is, what is it about Jesus' water that will not run dry?

Because there is peace of reconciliation with God that flows from the forgiveness earned by Christ's sacrifice.
There is renewal so I don't have to live the dead life I used to, and I see everywhere, and is so easy to fall into. And I know there is the Holy Spirit to help me live the way we were saved for - namely Christ's way - to be pleasing to God.
Like the Samaritan woman at the well, I've learnt that pursuing all the rich things in themselves does not enrich us at all. There comes a time when the means become the end, and we keep seeking the latest thrill, the more fantistic, more pleasureful (i don't know why but kinky sex comes into mind...) to excite us and give us meaning.

But I'm not advocating acseticism. We can't be reach the well on our own. Jesus offered her forgiveness and eternal life, as he does to all of us. =)

(John Chpt 4 verse 1-30)

Happy April Fools!

2005-04-02T09:56:00.000+08:00

Hm, as with my usual inane self, I thought I would do something idiotic and silly to bother John on this rather special day.
This was the plan:
I'd pretend I accidentally sent him an sms meant for someone else.
That sms would be along the lines of:

Hey (fill in male name), so sorry I couldn't meet you
last night... I'm really sorry... John wanted to see me
and he seemed so happy I couldn't say no, let alone tell
him the truth about us...Give me more time k? I know
dragging it on's unfair to you too. I promise i'll tell him
soon... don't give up on me k. miss ya.

Heh heh.
And of course after his shock and agony and confusion I'll expose the prank.

But then, in the middle of typing that fake message, I just felt like I couldn't beat to even put him through a few minutes of that kind of trauma.
...
...

So in the end, this was all the lame stuff I sent him:
i love you i love you i
love you i love you i
love you i love you i
love you i love you i (repeated a few more times to fill one sms page)

which was followed 2 mins later by this teaser:
Btw, happy April Fool's!!

Yes, I sold out.
But anyway.... I'm glad I did... cos I really liked his reply, it really made me laugh out loud:
!!! Haha... Wah! My gf suddenly went xiao liao...
Dun bluff la wat april's fool haha it's wat ya really
mean right? Hee... I knew it... Btw, I love ya too
gal!!

And don't worry, that wasn't an april fool's joke on his part.
Woo Hoo!!!

Theories of Deflation

2005-03-18T08:15:00.000+08:00

No feeling dogs me more than deflation,
and it seems to hit me most in matters involving my dear bf.

Deflation makes you escape from Marina Square in a cab,
And upon getting home you slam the door in fury,
tearing down the room as best you can (bearing in mind who's cleaning up),
till you break down shamelessly on your dad's shoulder.

Deflation makes you sullen in a flash while you were happy,
tensed up even though you want his hug.
And clammed up,
as if cursed to be unable to blurt out the cause of the hurt.

Deflation depletes your enegry and happy hopes,
leaving you hunched and weary.

So what causes deflation?

Deflation is when, on Christmas day, you are specially dolled up in a new dress.
You leave your home at 1pm to buy him a special gift,
and then wait in eager anticipation.
You wait 2 hours, and then receive a happy SMS from him saying that his definition of arriving between 2-3pm means just before 4pm.

Deflation is when you planned in jittery eagerness all the special just-for-two activities for his birthday,
and then he tells you he doesn't want the beach because it's his 'heavy' (sinus) day today.
And by the way, he wants to stay home to play with a doll-like causasian baby.

Deflation is when you arrive in school, then take the train backwards
just so you can intercept him on his way.
Just to realise that he's decided he needs to take a cab today.

In essence:

Deflation = over-anticipation + sudden bubble burst

(in the presence of Michelle's stupidity + irrationality)

But then, it's really not just because of these effects that I hate deflation.

I hate it because I don't know how to deal with it.

It's pretty obvious I'm not too nice a person when deflation hits,

and it doesn't help that John suffers the brunt of it all the time.

If there's one last deflation effect to add,

that's me testing John's patience each time.

And for the record, he's been terrific.

I just need to adopt some anti-deflation measures.

For a dear friend... an excerpt

2005-03-09T04:40:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine told me her troubles/concerns about being single while everyone around is attached, and also wondered aloud if she'd ever find romance.
Hm, I really don't know what to say to help her tide thru this period of 'doubt',
but I found this on another friend's blog and thought this little 'alternative' christian) view on relationships may offer a different perspective:

note that it may be considered a little extreme, even among some Christians, but I personally agree with most of it, except for how I would word or express certain parts)

(14th Feb, 2005)
Single or Attached (Married)...

Met up with YongJie and Ann for a while ... the discussion slowly drifted to BGR since today is valentine's day.

I realised that my thoughts about valentine's day had became different from past years... due to the fact that I'd began to understand the kingdom's purpose of being single or married.

That is, be it singleness or marriage, the purpose is to be able to live as a kingdom's citizen - blameless and holy. Hence, in 1 Cor 7, Paul mentioned that it is better to stay single, like him, because the singles would be concerned about the Lord's affair, be able to devote to the Lord in both body and spirit.

But if singles cannot control themselves in the face of temptation (be it lust or romance), they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn in passion; so that as married ppl, they can be blameless and holy before the Lord.

Despite the very clear words in the bible, Christians are still hoping for the right 'one' so that they can serve God together; I was once too, hoping for romance... then struggle to reason it myself to whether I'm gifted to be single or not...

But the struggle kinda subsided, for me ... after I heard this short sharing from John Chapman, a 75 yr old single evangelist. He was asked when he decided to be single.

And his answer is simple : "I'd never decide to be single. I just didn't think about it..."

This taught me a lot and really geared my thinking!
Why do i spend so much time and effort to think for MYself..? ... then got myself caught up in self-pity.. then self-encouragement...!

Being a person saved into the kingdom of God, I should be able to say the same thing too, that I just didn't think abt BGR because my whole mind is filled w the Lord's affairs.. the kingdom issues.. of how to devote myself to the Lord wholly.As for whether to married or stay single...
why decide now?

(yet) When comes a man that causes you to fall into great temptation, and draws ur devotion from Lord, you will know that you need to get marry, for it is better to be married than to burn in passion.

So why spend time struggling and deciding your martial status now, when the time can be more wisely used to struggle for some other thing?

Well... i guess, for me, spending this day with my fellow brothers and sisters is the best thus far.. because they will not ask me of when am i getting a boyfriend, rather, they had encouraged me to consider Christ...
(end of excerpt)

Dear you-know-who-you-are, perhaps you may find this kinda extreme?
Well, I just hope it offered you a fresh perspective and some liberation from what's bothering you... take heart, ok?

*big virtual hug*