Too heavy to read

In primary school (CHIJ Kellock) they usually made us attend church, where we'll sing hymms and all that. Many of those songs still stay with me. There's this particular one which I'd sing proudly without having to look at the lyrics (cos I attended the same church with my parents anyway), and also thinking I already knew and had the water from the "well that never would run dry".

It's really funny how the true meaning - personal and deep - of something learnt in childhood really only hits you 13 years later.

Like the woman at the well I was seeking
For things that could not satisfy

1. I don't think there is a lack of examples to this... I can name a few personal ones:
When I binge-ate, in those brief moments of insanity my mind only had the space for what I could cram down next. Chocolates, cakes, potato chips, sausages, nuts, back to chocs, then to ice cream n biscuits.... It's as sick as it sounds. But when it's happening you really want it.
And when it's over I don't know which is worse - the shame, the anger at letting it happen yet again, the sick sick feeling, or the hopelessness.
2. Interesting that bingeing co-existed with dieting.
I could plan my meals the night before - telling myself "no fats no fats, I'm a lipophobe". During lectures I'd think about when I could exercise next, or go tan, to achieve that elusive lean and envious bod. Eating with my parents or friends was hard because I told myself to have 5 light meals... If you wanted to go have pasta for lunch I may consider going if I could bring my veg sandwich along.
3. More than food, there's the want for the trendiest clothes n accessories- "don't let the less fashionably-inclined catch up, you know". Nowadays I also battle my addiction to SIMS which can cause me to play till 4 or 5 am... And well, more than my extreme examples, I can imagine the subtler things - romantic reliance, money... academic accomplishment. I've seen so many people crumble when someone they thought "unthreatening" suddenly rise "from the ashes" and thrash them at school. Do these really satisfy? I don't think so anymore.

And then I heard my saviour speaking
Draw from my well that never will run dry

Of course I'm not talking about a voice from heaven =p Anw I used to harbour the wish to be fashionably bad, to flirt with the "dark side" and still think I was paying my Christianly dues by "not having sex", "not ... " Yet my "be bad" plans were always thwarted. And then over a period of some years I was pulled into the snares of deeper biblical understaning and the inescapable burden of Christian friends *grinz*
So the main point is, what is it about Jesus' water that will not run dry?

Because there is peace of reconciliation with God that flows from the forgiveness earned by Christ's sacrifice.
There is renewal so I don't have to live the dead life I used to, and I see everywhere, and is so easy to fall into. And I know there is the Holy Spirit to help me live the way we were saved for - namely Christ's way - to be pleasing to God.
Like the Samaritan woman at the well, I've learnt that pursuing all the rich things in themselves does not enrich us at all. There comes a time when the means become the end, and we keep seeking the latest thrill, the more fantistic, more pleasureful (i don't know why but kinky sex comes into mind...) to excite us and give us meaning.

But I'm not advocating acseticism. We can't be reach the well on our own. Jesus offered her forgiveness and eternal life, as he does to all of us. =)

(John Chpt 4 verse 1-30)