it's real strange tat I usually don't get comments until I talk about ... you know ...

Sunday, June 05, 2005

an innocent little question

LAST Friday at work, i asked my fellow intern, Medha, a devout Buddhist, about her views on premarital sex.
To cut her answer short, she was against it but told me her reasons had nothing much to do with religion. I told her I was against it too, but on religious grounds.
Anyway, in the middle of our lively conversation, my never-mince-my-words, never-politically-correct editor joined in. He started off laughing and teasing and as usual looking at us like we were little girls.
Then suddenly he changed his tone and adopted a serious fatherly voice, and told us he wanted to give us some 'objective advice'.
According to our dear Mr M. Singh, his vast knowledge and wide social circle taught him that many couples who breezed through romance and dating eventually end up in tears and divorce after marriage because....
they were "sexually incompatible".
At this point Medha shot out: "So you're saying we ought to test-drive our partners?"
"Well, you all know I'm an agnostic, and I know you're religious so I'm not asking you to do as I say," he answered, "but I'm telling you this thing about compatibility will be a serious issue."
At this point I couldn't take it any more so I asked,
"Don't people 'improve' their performance over time?"
"Who's born an expert in bed?"
Then the both of them gave a very small but noticeable pause ... and decided to ignore that.
I can't remember how exactly the rest of it went but our dear boss did make his point that sex was a very important... element in marraige. And yes he thinks test-driving would eliminate a lot of tears.
But tat's not the point here anyway - you already know my stand. But I do have a little question:
HOW incompatible can two lovers be in bed?
Seriously! I mean, if you've got the complementary organs - and they are functional - what can go so bad that it triggers the divorce alarms??
And if both parties love each other, they'd be comfortable with expressing love in physical ways - holding each other, hugging, kissing (we even do that to frens lor).... so surely you won't find your husband or wife revolting to touch in bed right?
Hm.... I don't have the experience of my editor so I can only speculate... but I still don't see any problem what.
If you're inexperienced, you can learn.... ... and if both are inexperienced, learn together la! sounds quite sweet, somehow.
Furthermore... if it's the first time for both, then you won't even know if your partner sucks! Sounds nice. And works both ways in case you need it too ;)
So... yar that's what I think.
Got a view?
;p

8 Comments:

Blogger jacuzzijo said...

I think there's no perfect one for me. I can marry any girl. I just have to learn to love her. Regardless of her skills in the bedroom. :)

9:12 pm

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think incompatibility lies with differing sexual urges and also boils down to the very specifics like what one likes to do may be something the other totally dislikes, rather than just mere functional organs.

And while I don't believe that people are born experts in bed, I do believe that some people are naturally more inclined to sex because of the way they express their affection. If you're a person who naturally does not like touch very much (as I know some people are), then sex would be of course much more difficult. But I guess, that could be figured out during the dating stage, unless you're sticking strictly to the regime of no-touch-until-marriage thingy.

1:00 am

 
Blogger lip said...

go read my post on my blog on female orgasms:) sheds some light on the topic.

and really, test driving is up to you, we had a convo about this before haven't we:)?

take care

2:46 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sex does indeed make or break the marriage

how difficult can sex between two people get? its like jazz music.

you either get it or you don't.

12:50 am

 
Blogger Mrs Michelle Cheong said...

i agree with jo, and jus to add to wat sol said... John told me this when I asked him: That incompatibility may come into play more when one (or both) parties are more interested in their own pleasure rather than satisfying the other.
I'll go on to say tat perhaps sex shld be treated like another facet of the rship and will need erm, communication, compromise and cooperation... which fits in really nicely to mutual love... so i guess still don't suscribe to test-driving, lip ;p

6:19 pm

 
Blogger nachogirl said...

haha.. havent read ur blog for some weeks cuz of exams! bleh... anyway, i am wif u on premarital sex! woohoo!!! and sol is ONE person who doesnt like touch!!! hug her also hard! bwhaha... evil girl! actually... u also hor! seems like i am the only one who likes to hug frens! =b

9:34 am

 
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6:11 pm

 

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